Germany: What You Didn't Know... (muahahah)

Change is an important catalyst. It not only forces you to continue learning, but it instills a healthy level of respect. After all, things change for good reason, right? Well, let's test that theory. Here is a growing list of non-obvious differences with which I'm learning to live:

(1) Window Blinds.

Strangely enough, window blinds are on the OUTSIDE of windows. The ones on our house appear to be part of the window frame, running along a track (that may be built into the actual window frame?). It's a charming difference, IMHO. Oh, and they aren't flimsy like the plastic or metal alternatives in the States. These babies are hefty. I bet they'd protect against turret gunfire or ICMBs. (OK, Maybe not..) I bet they're a pain to clean though!

(2) Leaning Buses.

I regularly ride the bus (because my ongoing Sherlock-Style bike hunting has not yet produced satisfactory results. Es dauert Zeit, damnit! :) ). What is most interesting, is that when the buses pull up to the curb, they actually lean to the curb. Why don't they just install steps that come out to the oncoming bus citizens? Well, they have those, too. Every time I feel the bus tipping, two things happen: I start to remember bizarre scenes from the Titanic (how can you forget that fabulous "I'm Flying" scene with Kate and Leo so lovey-duvey at the front of the Titanic?) - and the hook to the "When you dip I dip we dip" song. Thank you, Everybody, my Ping-Pong mind will be here all week.

(3) Lights On, Lights Off.

This is somewhat inconsistent - especially inside our first apartment which we've already vacated, but if you're from the States, then you turn the lights ON by turning them OFF. Yep, inverted light switches. It rocks! If coming to another country where you can't speak their language, why not have some more fun by giving the light switches the ol' 180 degree swicheroo? Since we left our board game Cranium somewhere in the storage locker, this has kept the creative juices flowing...

(4) Your Mama Wears Cool Shoes.

No joke. We visited "H and M" the other day (a trendy clothing store that I was always told was inexpensive.. Since when did "normal" jeans cost 60 bucks?) and ran into bazillions of women older than us wearing super cool shoes! Who are these rock stars! Or, more correctly, why don't our older women wear cool shoes? This sweet old couple (say, in their 70's) were out for a walk.. and the lady was wearing these track-style shoes, bright yellow. Really slick! At first I thought she was a safety monitor helping people cross the street, but in reality she is just a hep Kat. Raaaar.

(5) DIE NANNY.

It's bad to pun all over the words of this awesome culture, but I can't help and laugh when I run across DIE NANNY on the TV (when we had a TV with cable, that is). Yes, the article "The" in German is DIE (at least it is in this example). What's most fitting is that most people who watched The Nanny with Fran Drescher were usually thinking to themselves, "DIE NANNY," because of her supremely gravely voice that just seemed to bring the best out in people. Well, now y'all can realize how much you have in common with your German neighbors. Bring on the Wurst! (that's sausage, you noodle).

(6) Administration Is A National Pasttime.

I hear about "red tape" all the time in relation to the States, but Germany has us beat - hands down! Granted, this is my first trip to live abroad, but I found the level of paperwork (and signaures needed) incredibly cumbersome. But what it DID have, was ORDER. God Save the Germans! They LOVE clear, concise order so much that I bet you'd get fined for skipping GO and collecting your 200 bucks in Monopoly. Here's what we experienced (extremely summarized) to be allowed to live here.

Step A, receive job contract
Step B, sign up for health insurance by proving you have a job contract
Step C, receive a work visa by proving you have health insurance
Step D, receive a residence permit by proving you have a work visa.

In theory this is all smooth-runnings, eh? What I left out were the many, many hours spent tracking down people for signatures, translators, recommendations, secretaries for A through D, more signatures, clarifying details, etc. And this was all with HELP! I can't imagine coming here without the friendly help of our MPI co-workers.

Change is usually a good thing, but in this case it is why I now hide in my closet and refuse to come out. Rumor has it the storm has passed. But now we're off to go pick up our mobile phone, which was delayed because we needed 26 legal forms proving our apartment's lease contract, our work vista, or residence permits, our passports, bank account numbers.. holy cow!

I intended to write my list of 10, but this last one pooped me out. Auf weidersehen, y'all.