Sprachen Espanien and Unravellin'

I break for spicy Spaniards.. Sorry kid.

Take life up a notch. Why set a rendezvous at the seedy diner on the other side of town when a weekend double-date in Barcelona is within your reach? That was our thought when close friends of ours were taking some time away from their studies to visit Scotland. Combined with the allure of the Sea (not to mention the sea-FOOD), the imaginative architectures of Antoni Gaudi, and possibly the largest open market in Europe, and I'd call that a pretty damn good date weekend. :)

Four days brought us to five Antoni Gaudi creations (La Padrera, the Segrada Familia yet-unfinished House of God, the school house, Park Guell, and a wicked-cool townhouse), a visit to the Port of Barcelona along the water front, Tapas galore, possibly 20 miles of good ole' walkin, four visits to that monster market called La Bocqueria, and just one afternoonish relaxing to catch our breaths. That break was nestled between a long city & garden walk, stumbling across a ginormous cultural market (not just stands.. we're talking tents with handmade textiles and diverse foods), but before heading out again for an evening Flamenco show at the local culture house. Actually "community" is more in order here, as it was a walled city converted into an artists community. Visiting these places with Rob and Jen made it all the more worthwhile, and we're secretly awaiting our next visit with them as it can only get better.

Together on the roof of Gaudi's La Padrera.. Camera thiefs can't run far on a roof..

I leave you with some pictures to give an idea of this adventure, but neither my writing nor pictures can give you a real idea of how awesome that weekend was.

Sure, sure, take all that fruit for granted.. wait.. are those gigantic freaking artichokes? Holy Jesus.

By the way, if you find yourself at an open market choosing between a fresh Blackberry drink and a coconut one, take my hint and avoid the one more likely to contain seeds.. and I do mean seeds.. possibly 10 tablespoons worth!

Port of Barcelona: We came, we saw, we were pooped on by seagulls (just kidding)

Not kidding about those seeds, kids. Reach for the Kiwi, at least the seeds are chewable.

From the Park Guell Lizard: See kids, Crayons ARE toxic.

Quick! Follow that Gondola!

Tail that guy over there.. but don't be too ovious about it. Paddle! Faster!

Venice is less an island than a labrynth. Veer off the main "route" thru the island, and you're likely to find a nestled cafe or another arm of a minor canal - a Venitian's version of off-street gondolas parking. You'll find more doll-house bridges than imaginable pizza toppings (so, a lot). Adventure incarnate, with plenty of paths leading to gondola piers, empty squares, or church realty. This is my idea of a Spaghetti Island, the various alleys and roads criss-crossing and just about as thick as a noodle. And to boot, Gelato at every intersection. [Thanks to the large population of Italian immigrants in Germany, B's blessed with the possibility of Gelato almost everywhere in Stuttgart, too.] What, never heard of Spaghetti Ice Cream? Life doesn't get any better.

Bridge Number 77a. Notice its symmetric arch and 15th century wrought iron made from the shackles of various Guiseppis.

Most of our adventures are lightly vailed fronts for splurging on great food. This trip cost us a whopping 44 euro round trip (total; taxes incl.), which left a welcome remainder in our budget for incidentals. B does a great job of locating friendly and waaaaaaaay helpful places to stay each place we visit. Combined with online reviews and a general consideration of guide books, we've a killer Trifecta for sniffing out the right places to go. One of high esteem is a restaurant named BANCOGIRO, located on Piaza San Marco. We grabbed a few plates of Ciccheti (Italy's version of Tapas), a glass of local vino, and relaxed at a quiet table along the major Canal. It was awesome.

No Wireless, No Blackberry, No One Nearby (Literally), No Problem

If it's not on Piaza San Marco, your guidebook probably won't help you much here, which gives you the green for poking about at your own pace. Don't follow the crowds (there weren't any for us), and take the time to walk the spaghetti trail of Venice to sights like Rialto Bridge and the ecclectic area of Accademia. It's imperative that you carve out time to tour the Doge's Palace and certainly Basilica San Marco. Seeing the gold ceiling mosaic of Judas hanging from the tree brought me one step closer to God, even if I was motivated out of fear. Since moving to Europe I thought my palace cum museum quotient was about to explode, but both of these were oustanding. Print out RS' self-tour for a surprisingly interesting history lesson.

Cameras exist to take pictures of people taking pictures of themselves.

By roaming around we discovered a tiny church displaying an artist's small-scale reproduction of 30 or so of Leonardo da Vinci mechanical and wartime inventions. A bicycle with a wooden "chain", an automatron suit of armor, and an integrated mechanical system for pushing offensive ladders from the walls of cities / castles. I'm a huge fan of s'odraneoL imagination and creations, so it was surprising when B was essentially dragging *me* into the church. For the record I didn't want to pay the 12 euro entrance fee for something I'm already an expert on.. having a wild imagination and a knack for natural systems. heh, heh. We couldn't get enough of the attack ship with mammoth scythe mounted on the front, btw. Just classic. It deserves both captions.

Whether it's a Steamboat or a Schooner, adding a Scythe makes everything nice.
It's all fun and games until someone pulls out a Scythe. And cuts a hole into your ship.

Warning: south park reference. Awesom-O never had a chance.

Break from the big sights and use any remaining energy to dip into the many local shops. We visited just after the close of Carnival, and mask shops were still packed with warez galore. In typical fashion I picked out the most under-rated item in the shop, a sexy circa-20's veiled ladyface framed by feathers, which B quickly decided was her best find ever. :) After an artful bargain with the maker it found its way back to our home. I'd like to take a moment to acknowledge that this mask will scare the living hell out of any child, which is either the real reason I bought it or a very solid plus. I'm looking forward to mounting it in my future quiet place.

Elegance + Moderate Creepiness = Monster Under My Bed

Last but not least, we were lucky to spend one night around town with our friends Marilee and Adam, soon to be Legislative Masters of the Universe. The fact that we both found ourselves in Venice at the same time completely by chance just proves how small this rock really is. Until next time.....

My One Hour of Glory

"Drive as fast as you can around this curve, and when I signal I want you to brake as hard as you can. "

Them are fightin words if I ever heard any, and the first time I tried this I braked like an old Lady. Actually I did it the second time, too, only moreso like an Accountable Adult - gently turning the wheel to avoid the wall of cones. But the third time I nailed it in a way that would make Will smile with glee. I crushed that brake pad so hard that I thought I'd break the damn lever. But my Stuttgart Stallion took it in stride, and brought me from 90 km / h to 0 in less than 15 feet. Holy Geez that was awesome. And I was just gettin' started.

My birthday present this year was extremely unique and a sexy way of kicking and screaming into The 30-somethings. For one whole hour, I commandeered (legally) an atomic-bomb red 2006 Porsche Carrera S and careened it around a specially-designed racing track the way you're not supposed to drive: hard and fast. Sure, I took it easy around the curves that scared the bejeezus outta me, but as soon as I had a clear shot ahead I punched the gas and didn't look back. The track is wet? It's 36 degrees F outside? I'm driving an 80,000+ Euro car with ZERO insurance on a track that was designed to mimic five of the most challenging curves of modern tracks? Exhilaration vandalizing every stone in my head, each twist leaving another spatter of paint obscuring .. well, whatever was there before.

No better than to learn the track from Sebastian, my Porsche Racing Instructor, who I fondly remember leading me out of a tight corner and saying "now go as fast as you can." God I love this guy. The first moment of sadness that day was watching him crouch down into his midnight-blue 911 Turbo huddled adjacent to our 911 Carreras. The second moment came when I realized there was no way in Hell I was going to keep up with that guy! Hey, I never said I stopped trying. He introduced me to the Bus Stop, the slalom thru the row of cones, the tight curves, The Hill and subsequent down-right-sharp curve, the tight s curve that I may have fishtailed out of (and recovered nicely I might add) when I asked for a little too much torque. The last moment of sadness arrived as I realized I waited 30 years to do this. All that sadness washed away remembering that my wife gave me this opportunity. And I Prost!'d this best I knew how: I ate it all up and left nothing behind but an awful smell Sebastian called "a Porsche Driver's Chanel No 5".

That tour may have been only one hour by your standards, but in my head it was hours of analysis reading the Carrera's responses to all of my questions. I ripped through that track testing the steering's range, the suspension's forgiveness, the strength of my hands holding that steering wheel, and also a fellow student's patience as I kept urging him to drive faster. At the end I walked away with electricity in my feet and the re-aquaintenace with an AMA-acceptable heart rate. But in usual form I thanked Sebastian properly and reminded him that we'll be seeing each other again. Soon.

Since we never received the official "ticket" for the Porsche Experience, there's still a second chance..

http://www.porsche-leipzig.com/en/leipzigangebote/leipzigpilot/default.aspx

Electric Youth

I couldn't wait to get this photo online after our kick-ass weekend in Berlin and Leipzig, Germany. The Porsche Leipzig campus has a building called the "Diamond" which houses the museum, conference centers, restaurant, etc. One of the automobiles, a 1997 Porsche GT1 race car, is an amazing auto that is currently on display at the Leipzig Diamond. It's a wicked car in all respects, and during our tour I heard a tip about special paint used on the body of this GT1. I took a picture with and without flash as a comparison:

How cool is that? It's sick cool, for sure. Or did I just date myself by showing excitement over neon-colors oh-so reminiscent of the early 90s.. Schade.. this car is 10 years old and I'm still crazy about it. I wonder how this car handles on the Porsche Leipzig test track..

PS: it's shaped like a diamond, if you're still wondering from where the moniker arose.

Hidden in Plain Sight: Amsterdam's Daily Life

Amsterdam.

The word alone elicits a varying collection of ideologies (and, ahem, memories), be it clean or cloudy. Before I left I talked to at least 5 people about my upcoming adventure, and every single one of them had a different perspective. After returning I realized what one omitted was highlighted by the next person, which ended up rounding out my own experience. Not to say that Amsterdam is any one thing, let alone five, but, well, it is what it is - and that's what makes it so damn unique. Even their tagline is "I AMsterdam". Pretty much sums it up.

Our initial plans were to tour the city and lands, visiting cheese manufacturers, sniffing out the iconic windmills, and crawling via boats through their many canals. Ended up traveling by foot or tram most of the time, and didn't get out of the city for any of our previously planned activities. Instead we pedded around with friends of ours who we hadn't seen for a while. The weekend was slow-paced and very enjoyable compared to our action-packed adventures which I recently decided to move away from. I do wish the weather had been nicer to warrant bike rentals, though, as it's a great way to experience a new place - especially in a town that has more bikes and boats compared to cars. You can't throw a stone in that town without either hitting a watery canal or a bicycle (and probably a bicyclist to boot).

This, like all other spaces of available earthen
property, was completely consumed by bicycles.

Top activities: The Dutch Resistance Museum, an awesome Brewery next to the token Windmill, improv Comedy at BoomChicago, the Church in the Attic, the Van Gogh Museum, and visiting the House of Anne Frank. I'd like to note that it was nothing like the house I envisioned Anne Frank and her family living in. In fact, I didn't see any of your typical free-standing "houses" in Amsterdam. They're all what you'd recognize as Town Houses or Row Houses. Apparently the Amsterdam gov't imposed a tax on each house depending on its width. The skinnier the house, the lower the taxes. You'd be amazed how long these houses are from front to back, but also how skinny some of them are. The stairwells of many houses visited were freakishly steep, and I imagined plenty of scenes how my life would play out should I go a'rolling down just one flight. freaky steep.

A tiny example of Amsterdam property fronts.
Packed tightly together and along the water-
front, these houses are unique and interesting.

This trip also rejuvinated my fascination with house boats. Seriously, house boats are cool. So cool, in fact, you suddenly have to worry about pirates mucking about your watery property. Unfortunately I didn't see any of them equipped with canons, which would have been the ultimate accessory, but I did see one with a WWII USSR water mine atop it's cabin. Some were plain-Jane while other boaters had their gardens atop their living quarters. That's a pretty efficient use of space, thought I. Aarrgh.

Click to see more detail of the houseboats. This
photo captures all: Bikes, Boats, and Moats. Sorry,
supposed to rhyme. Of course I meant canals.

Apart from these sights we of course saw Amsterdam's infamous Red Light District and Pot/Shroom shops galore. I recall an article (the Economist?) about Amsterdam's "working" population achieving health care benefits for their profession. They are, after all, a business and I believe somewhat regulated by gov't taxes / standards. This profession is not without its group of slackers. I can't count how many windows I walked by observing a majority attached to their mobile phones, texting or chatting their time away to friends or family while they stood (or sat) around in lingerie. Couldn't believe it. Talk about a lack of motivation! I guess Amsterdam proprietors haven't implemented a rewarding Employee of the Month award program just yet.

In the end we didn't get to a cheesehouse in the country, something that appealed to us both. We managed to sneak away with a nice wheel of fresh Gouda and dill, as well as a local cheese recommended to us by our host Barry. We did, however, finally take our first train ride to a vacation destination. An agreeable time of 5 hours to get to Amsterdam, and spent the entire time reading and watching scenery whip past at 100-200 km/h. I look forward to taking more trips this way, as it worked out best for both of us considering the low-to-zero stress when compared to preparing and taking a flight. And whereas you encounter a formidable security checkpoint including chemical sensors, frustrated passengers / workers, and seventeen ID checks, our experience was much easier: one passport check and one ticket check per direction, and one friendly dog visit on the way home. Don't worry, he didn't want our cheese anyway. He was looking for something much more interesting... :)

Fun in the Sun in Lon Don

Can you believe we returned from London with tans?

So THAT's what you get when you travel somewhere in the high season.. good weather.. whodathunkit. No fear - each day found me with a better tan but much, much poorer. That's a damn expensive place to go, but what you can experience in London beyond makes up for that silly ideology we refer to as fiscal responsibility. I often come back from a trip wishing I had taken more time to learn about the area of visit, but this time I came back interested in learning more about London's history *after* the visiting. This was yet another location where you can't see everything in four long days (which we had at our disposal), and I urge anyone going to London to focus on one or two things a day with time to let it all sink in. If I'm lucky enough to have children some day, they will certainly NOT enjoy going with me on family vacations if it's to historically interesting places. I consider myself more of a Clark Griswold sort of fellow, but I'm destined to be closer to Professor Henry Jones, spending long days observing and learning like your life will someday depend upon it. A fast paced life is for the birds. Or for your reckless, treasure hunting son who calls himself Indiana.

Besides catching up with old and new friends C, J, and S, we sampled a bit of the Bitter Beer which Londoners love more than the Germans love soccer (uh, Fussball for you Deutschers), stared at obscenely decorated wonders such as the Crown Jewels and the Windsor Castle dollhouse, and tooled around the Tower of London (no, it's not really a tower), the Tate Modern art museum, and unsuccessfully tried to spook ourselves by partaking in the Jack the Ripper Night Tour.

Of course, we'd not have this opportunity without S's generosity, providing us company and a comfy bed not even a block away from the London Eye (and thus, across the bridge from Big Ben which was coooooooooooooooooooooool at night). And for those of you who don't know, the London Eye is a massive ferris wheel where each car holds some 16 people and takes 30 minutes from beginning to end! For now I'll leave you with this large London sight, and B's entrance as a great photographer.

Another French Getaway

We're back from the coolest weekend adventure I've had so far: The Wiederhirn Western Wine Weekend! We hopped in Petra's car on Friday afternoon and headed West to France, excited for our highly anticipated weekend visit of the Wiederhirn Family vineyard in Riquewihr, part of the Alsace region of France. Alsace is a popular wine producing region of North Eastern France (very close to the German border) with beautiful country towns. The majority of the wines (as far as I know) are whites, examples including Riesling, Gewürztraminer, and Pinot Blanc. My pictures don't bring deserved justice to the relaxed life and history of the region we visited, nor the natural beauty of the villages and surrounding land. Take a quick peek from my perspective:

A distant shot of Riquewihr, the nicest country
village we visited this weekend. Note the grape
vines in the foreground as well as behind.

And another..

For perspective..LOTs of grapes

A pic of Riquewihr's "Old City". This
was once a double-fortified city, and
had the chance to see part of the wall
still remaining and completely stable
which was built around 1200 AD.

So many details to list makes it hard to focus on anything in particular. I can, however, say that we were honored to spend the weekend with a fabulous local family, the Wiederhirn Family of Riquewihr. Their generosity was outstanding, and we had a great time sampling the wines they've produced for over four centuries. I'm already planning our next trip.. Can't Wait!!

I would encourage any of you traveling through the Alsace region (and specifically Riquewihr) to take a few hours to explore the beauty of the town and local culture, and especially search out the Wiederhirn Cellar. By the way, the local cuisine was very favorable (and meaty!). To be sure, there's plenty of space for hiking (lightly or otherwise) or biking after you sample a bit too much, be it a local Pinot Blanc, some Flammkuchen, or a nice slice of Rhubarb pie. Until next time..

What in a Box?

It's taken some effort to get back into recording our adventures for yall, so I'll start this one off sweetly.

Stop me if you've heard this one:

In Deutschland, Milk comes in a box

Thank you everbody, I'll be here all week.

No, I'm serious. Milk really does come in a box here. It's also pretty tasty; some say it's sweeter.. One visitor schemed ways to smuggle a box of it home. Actually I don't think it's an item restricted from international travel, although safely transferring it in luggage would require careful planning. Wimpy packaging be damned; it would be just my luck that my toothbrush would be driven through it given the gentile nature of gravity upon a thrown piece of luggage. Top that with airline neighbor friendliness when they discover their luggage is more moist than usual, and you've got one hell of a party. A party in everyone's pants, interestingly enough.

This is dedicated to Glamorous Em, who opened our eyes to more things that can be put in a box:

Identity Crisis

How Ironic; right now I'm living the life of an American in Deutchland. I was doing really well assimilating into Deutchkulture for the past five months, and then the inevitable happened - I got a job related to the US Government. One week I'm walking in Deutchland and talking German, the next week I find myself in Little America walking the walk and talking the talk you know oh-so-well.

At least the word Dude reentered my vernacular.. oh how I missed you, Dude.

Although, I'm not exactly American. I work in Little America, but as far as my access is concerned, I am not able to purchase goods (food, clothes, gas, etc) like other Americans. That's because I'm an Amerikaner, or an American working as a German. The German Gov't says so, because they want my tax dollars to pay for the services I use. Okay, I can respect that for now, but I hope someday that I can legally purchase goods in the many Little Americas dimpled throughout these knobby hills. If I weren't an Amerikaner, but a true American, I wouldn't be required to pay any taxes whatsoever. How cool is that? Well, cool for those of you who qualify. I'm just happy to be here.. and have a job that's challenging.

As usual, I'm working too much. It's just a habit. I love solving problems! And blogging isn't problem-solving.. not usually anyway.

And just as our C-Town friend Em returned to the Windy, WAW should be on the way here after a romantic stint in .. Rainy London. ;) Get your arse over here, WAW. It's my turn to show someone around!!

And for the rest of you, Pony Up, yah? I may not have any more vacation time left, but thanks to friends, family and the semi-weekly wanderings, we know of a LOT to do around here. Besides, I just bought all this beer not remembering when Em was leaving.. and, well, we just need some help with it all.. y'know?

I Can Drive (one)Sixty-Five!

Life is full of twists. Long twists, really curvy twists, and the twists that turn you 180 deg. Not the Autobahn; it lacks the latter option (so far as I can tell). I now work roughly 10 miles away from our Wohnung (apartment aus Deutsch) as the crow flies. On Monday I received a temporary vehicle for my job - temporary until I can acquire one for myself. It's a common European brand named Opel, it's diesel, and it's actually peppy. I'm not winning any races of course, but it certainly does the job admirably. Naturally I choose to commute using the Autobahn - who the Hell wouldn't? Besides, when you drive 160 - according to my speedometer - every lane is the Fast Lane.

Back to those twists I was talkin about. I've only experienced two caveats thus far, but they're somewhat important.

(1) If you miss your exit, GOOD LUCK finding a way to turn around.

We don't have "easy exits" where you can just turn around (I think in the US it's roughly 10 miles to the next exit), or those famous "Authorized Vehicles Only" turnaround points. Seriously. If you miss an exit, just give up. Pull over and kick your car tires. It's about as helpful as continuing along the same path, hoping for a turnaround or exit. The solution: You take the next exit and hope you find a gas station that understands English (or you understand Deutsch) - they will explain directions for you to drive through the next twelve towns in order to get to your destination via the backcountry roads... Alas, I'm still learning the details, but that's the skinny. Obviously I try not to miss any more exits. :)

(2) Forget your desire for "buffers" between you and the next car.

Yes, we drive at 160 (or 100+ MPH), but why can't you .. I dunno .. give me a car's length ahead so I don't rub up against ya? Seriously.. I was driving on Thursday and some Benz station wagon clipped right in front of me. He didn't actually touch me, and it's a freaking miracle that he didn't. The action was like a video game. No blinker, no warning, just JOOP! I'm right in front of you. He just kept on happily accelerating, so it wasn't like a Swoop and Squat where he gets in front of me and slams his brakes so that I pay his insurance company a chunk of moolah. All I ask for is a bit of understanding.. Don't pull in front of me without warning; that's all. If I wanted a jerk driver in front of me I'd go back to Chicago.

Das ist alles fur jetzt. Tune in later at the same Bat time, same Bat channel, for more riveting stories about the Autobahn.

Which Gender is your Toothbrush?

I read just the other day a headline that [sic] "Bilingualism offsets dementia." I sure hope that's true, because I'm starting to recall why I shied away from learning languages a decade ago (which, by the way, I never really learned beyond "hola!" "Que Tal!" or "Quieres?" which I use for pretty much every response irregardless of it's true value).

Here are a few quick thoughts about learning languages in a classroom (again). And incase you're wondering, I've just taken a moment from my studies to procra.. err write my loyal readers.. And yes, I know it's Friday night.

(1) Every time the teacher calls on me to answer a question, I have no idea whatsoever what I'm supposed to say. BUT, I can answer EVERYONE else's questions. Is there a psychologist in the house? I think I need to talk to someone about this.

(2) Languages are incredibly fun to learn. It's the only time you can "accidentally" say "Good afternoon, I speak with your fruits" and actually get away with it. And no, it doesn't make any more sense in German although it may make sense to Borat. (Guten Tag, ich spreche mit deine Obst) :)

(3) Finally, learning a new language makes you realise how little you know of your Mother Tongue. Seriously.. do any of you understand the Accusative vs Genative vs Dative cases? If you do, I'm hiring.. five bucks an hour, plus I'll send fun German candies. :) I took Latin for a stint in College, but I don't remember getting into that stuff nearly as quickly. Which is why I probably only remember how to say, Salve, Magister (Hello, Teacher). So much for the good stuff. But I now understand (remember?) exactly where I put the modal verb versus the infinitive verb versus the time / location / why in a sentence. At least in German, anyway. Woohoo!

Ta Ta for Now, my lovelies. I have to go figure out what gefaehrlich means.

/a

I thought I'd lost you, boy

Before we begin, take a moment to mark "one" for the AWAY Team.

ME: I bet you're glad to finally be in Germany, I said to him. Just hang on a sec.. I'll be right back.

Him: Is everything cool?

ME: Everything's cool. Be right back.

It started out innocently enough - really it did. You see, Germany has this "on your honor" policy with regards to using their public transit which I try to take very seriously. In my pocket were two unstamped "mehrfahrtkartes" err, transit tickets that you can use whenever you want. It's good to keep one or two in your wallet incase you find yourself without money to purchase a fare home. You're supposed to stamp them before you get on the train, bus, whatever, and I realized after Jesse and I sat down in the train that I hadn't validated our tickets yet. Do we ride as misfits who don't pay their own way, or do I get these suckers stamped and be a shining, glimmering, positive reflection of Good Society?

No worries; on the buses the validation boxes are located near the doors. Makes sense: you stamp them when you get on. But for some reason I couldn't find them on the train. I asked a guy next to us: "Verstehen Sie Englisch?" "Yah," he says, "I'm from Indiana." Sweet! Where can I stamp these mehrfahrtkartes? "Uhh, I'm sure the box is on the train somewhere." Well, we weren't going anywhere, so I walked down to the front of the train. No box. I swear I didn't see one. So I walked towards the rear of the train where Jesse awaits my return.

On my way back I see that the boxes are actually fixed to the station where you buy the train ticket. It's just a big rectangle blob, somewhat resembling a big steel door with an LCD touch-screen. Go or stay, go or stay. I'm weighing my options.

The train is still not going anywhere, and besides, I'm always notified by the conductor or pre-recorded voice when the train is about to go, stop, open the doors, which way to exit the open doors, yahdda yahdda yahdda. So off I go, maybe 10 feet away from the train to pop in my ticket. One ticket stamped. On to the next one!

Whew, that was close! I almost tempted fate with the SSB guys in the black coats. IF they stop you and you're without a paid fare, they pop you with a 50 euro fine. (less, I'm told, if you play dead about how the transit system works.. besides, isn't transit free in the States?).

As the second ticket is slid into the machine, I'm gripped with a new kind of fear. It's a fear of silence, because I hear nothing as the train's doors slam shut. I withdraw the ticket, and no matter how fast I ran to the door to open it they weren't coming open. The train starts movin, and hey, there goes Jesse - sitting happily in the back of the train near some random guy from Indiana. I try waiving at him as a signal to exit at the next stop, but somehow my wildly flailing arms go unnoticed.

Lucky me. I just lost my jet-lagged brother-in-law. To my knowledge he's without a local currency, our address, phone number, you name it.

If I continue this story in the same manner, you'll be here all day. Suffice it to say that after four hours, we finally caught up with Jesse at the main train station. After two hours of visiting different train stations, I gave up and returned home empty handed and curious what storms awaited my return. When I saw my wife I simply said, "Hi Honey!" and she said "What the hell happened?!" Great! He made it home before I did and I worried for no reason at all!

Well, not so fast. She received an anonymous phone call on her mobile. Something like "Meet me at the McDonalds at the Hauptbahnhof in one hour." It was very Cloak-and-Dagger. Actually the conversation was more "Hi, this is the Missing American Hotline, and we've found your brother. Please come get him at the Hauptbahnhof McDonalds before he consumes too many burgers and beers."

Our gracious neighbors Katie and Carl brought us into the city where we eventually located Jesse at McDonalds. We grabbed lunch for everyone back at the ranch, and I offered Katie my only 10 Euros as a small sign for a HUGE THANK YOU for her assistance, flexibility, kindness, altruism. We headed back to calm the travellin Parentals' hearts - and ate.

But hey, I learned a ton about the differences between trains and buses that day! For example, the next time I get on a train with someone, I'll be damned if I get off that train to validate my ticket. When the SSB black coat guys come by and demand my ticket, they're going to get a big smile and someone who just can't seem to explain himself very well. :)

Jack is BACK

In my glory days, I was 17, worked at Worst Buy, and occassionally received free copies of various computer programs from software company representatives. Among the top of the list were games like 7th Level's Monty Python and the Holy Grail - funny, totally new, and with HUGE replayability (ie, you could play it over and over without getting bored). Believe it or not, I'd never known Monty Python and this started a burgeoning love with British humor and Monty Python's interesting directions. But I digress.

One freebie in particular started an all-points-bulletin revolution. I'm talkin about neverending night parties, with both friends and families. This badboy even included stickers you put on your keyboard as an eternal brand signifying to visitors that you're both part of the elite YDKJ clan. This may be the most popular game that everybody never heard about. And it goes something like this:

YOU DONT KNOW JACK!

It slipped away once, don't let it happen again. Go home and plug this address in your browser window:

www.youdontknowjack.com

You can play some, you can buy them, just don't complain about how much they cost because you can't put a price on history, baby.

Ritter Sport Factory Visit

Sweet! I found a good chocolate back in the states called Ritter Sport. At Cost Plus World Market you could find boxes with unique fillings including marzipan, cornflakes, etc. Ritter Sport is EVERYWHERE here - and for great reason; it's made here! Instead of being shaped like a bar, this chocolate comes in SQUARES of one, four, or sixteen (and larger.. achey tummy and I've never even eated the large large one). We learned that the factory is very, very close, so of course we went to visit!

Along with the factory, which rumor has it we can't enter unless we're under 18 (that's a new one), there is an art museum of Square-like art (which we didn't enter) and a history of chocolate museum (which was concise). Heading up the stairs I snapped a quick pic of a square art installation.

By far the coolest history item was a miniature factory where kids (or, ahem, adults) could push a button and have a packaged sample delivered to them by truck! Below is a picture of Tad (not shown) requesting one of 22 samples. :) Don't worry, he gave them to all the bystanders also marveling about the miniature factory:



Press button, truck gets candy, truck leaves "factory," truck drives to you, and finally truck drops chocolate - hopefully in the right spot.









Unfortunately some unlucky kid had to wait for another sample, but not TAD! Here's his Jogurt sample comin'!








The factory also includes a chocolate store where you can purchase items at cost. We barely made it out of there with money in our pockets.... No comments! Worth noting is that you can purchase TEST flavors that aren't even available to the public. Also worth noting is that Ritter has chocolate with alcohol flavors that aren't available in the States. Some of these include Amaretto, Jamaican Rum, Vanilla Liquor.. There are more, but I can't HIC think of HIC any more of them.. HIC. Just kidding. The museum says a person of 70kg would have to eat over 500 bars to = 2cl of alcohol. You'd have a bit more to worry about than the alcohol at that point... Tata for now. We've got to get crackin.. on the chocolate.. that we didn't buy...

I Lost Many Hairs

Before turning into Cousin IT I decided it was best to get my hairs cut. Svelt Guillaume suggested a local Stuttgart salon that he's had good luck with so I gave it a shot. Appointment set, check. Waited for the day and hopped on the train, check. Arrived to learn the stylist doesn't speak a word of English.. .. umm.. no check. Well, life is a big adventure, right? Check.

Waiting for my turn I picked out a picture in the German Men's Health and brought it to Ulvi (the stylist). The wife confirmed the picture (seriously, who wouldn't like to have David Beckham's hair?), so I felt right on track, and when Ulvi called me back to the chair I was in for quite a treat. Ulvi is an artist, which drastically sets him apart from other people to have cut my hair in the past. He took his time and did a fantastic job. Interestingly though were the advanced techniques yet unknown to the sister industry in America...

(a) Ulvi cut my hair dry.. No wash before, just a few spritz' from the water bottle.

(b) Next, a long gentle wash which included a head massage.. .awesome!

(c) Patting my hair somewhat dry, Ulvi massaged in some masculine hair tonic. Didn't see that one comin..

Then it happened.. Through our translator I mentioned the "eyebrow job" that Guillaume talked about (you cry, he said). You see, some guys get their eyebrows plucked to be less wooly-mammoth and more Pierce Brosnan. I figured what the hell, go for it.

Ulvi's eyes widened and what he said was translated to: are you sure? this isn't your grandma's eyebrow plucking you know..

Heck yes I'm in.. Let's do it! and off he went. No tweezers at first, only two pieces of string with one end between his teeth and the other in his hand. Somehow he zipped the second string along the first and it plucked out the general form of his artistic intention. After pruning the bulk he resorted to plucking with tweezers to finish the job. I have to say the individual plucking was worse, because it was so slow. Maybe some of you fellow men have experienced this style before.. I for one am happy to still have eyebrows..

but hey, we're not done!

(d) then, after the shock of eyebrow plucking, he pulled out a lighter, struck a massive flame and whipped past my ears to burn the old man hairs from them! DEFINITELY DIDNT EXPECT THAT ONE.

(e) then he almost topped that by grabbing the tip of my nose, guiding my head upwards, and trimming my NOSE hairs with clippers (fresh from trimming the obvious "you need a haircut" neck hairs).

(f) Finally, the usual styling of hairs and acceptance of money. :)

It was actually a pretty solid experience. I'm planning to go back because they not only did a great job but surprised the hell out of me in a postive way. If any of you are in need of a hair cut when you come to visit............

Double the Turkey, Double the Fun

Two Thanksgivings in three days equals roughly seventeen single meals and four times that in dessert weight. I love American Holidays, and extending this one "hands-across-the Atlantic-Style" to G-Town gave much reason to be thankful.

We hosted Thanksgiving at our place on Saturday evening for a few neighborhood and lab friends. Our flat has comfortable living, but it's not ideal for hosting large events, so our invitation list was modest. We had a blast, but I always wish we could have invited more people. It's hard to be exclusive when we're surrounded by so many people who are very, very helpful and genuinely nice. Of course, seeing four people try to work in our kitchen preparing food confirms why we could only host 8 (total) last night. Wait until you see our kitchen in person. It has everything you need like cabinets full of random glasses and the standard utilities (oven, micro-fridge, etc), but I think our balcony has more space.

Here's a quick pic of Petra (Pay-truh) and Guillaume (Gee-ohm) preparing some foodstuff in the kitchen. Actually, Guillaume made fantastic mashed potatoes - using a ricer (presumably for potatoes?). Amazing!

Everyone's foods were great. Petra brought a dish of green beans (with magic spices yet to be determined; please be not MSG!) and another of a baked red and yellow bell peppers casserole. Beth, Sean and Tad brought corn casserole, stuffing (yum) and an Apple / Apricot dessert (as well as graciously supplying a unified set of dishes from which we ate), Shravanthi brought a muy tasty salad and pear crisp dessert, and in addition to Guillaume's potatoes he also brought a French Apple Tart (which he made) and a bottle wine from his family's vineyard.






Here's a pic of his fam's wine label; if all French wine even hints at this flavor then bless me a winesnob and know that I'm heading there right after Munich and Prague to tour the Alsacian region from where his family lives. Alsace is to wine what Illinois is to corn. The Alsacian region has a historic identity crisis. German and France have fought over ownership of this region for many years (click on Alsacian region to read more).


Between cooking and hosting, I managed to snap a picture of Tad during a more complacent moment. He's a great kid, and I'm jealous that he's learning English and Deutsch simultaneously. His understanding of "mein" and "nein" are unprecedented. :) Plus, his parents are generous and very supportive. Psst, hey kid. Just remember the good times when your angst fully matures at 16. Besides, your parents were the ones who suggested taking a walk to a nearby lake (Bärensee) between dinner and dessert so we could (in my words) fit more goodness in our bellies. Smart & European (they're Americans). Good Times.

The night's many conversations evolved from holiday tradition to local music to Geocaching Riddles to Guillaume's secret ingredient (marzipan)to a second dessert - and somehow to this re-enactment of a rugby scrum:





















Did I say good times?

We hope you all had a great holiday, and that you had as packed of a dinner table as we did! Hello from Partyland Deutschland:

Eurostyle Livin'

UPDATED WITH PHOTOS!

Spending my entire life in one State (.. state of mind?), I always settled on habits and just stuck with them. These weren't always the best habits but once internalized they unfolded into a daily routine. For one, I have a penchant for sitting on my arse. It continues because my career of choice (technology, unspecified) includes a heavy amount of reading and "testing" (ie, Geek Olympics; long, harsh hours of building, breaking, rebuilding, rebreaking all-things-computer) - but let's just refer to it as Golympics (shame on you, Bucky, with your famous marriage of two words into an awesomer, single word [and blast you, John Dorian, for making me explain things in your peculiar and wonderful way..]). That, and like all other kids enjoy the easy answer to our problems of "what now?" - and the Nintendo DS Lite isn't helping anything! Blah, blah, blah

Anyway the point is that my habits are evolving, and it's unquestionably due to our recent lifestyle changes. Jumping right into it:

(a) my new-found ability to actually spend money. Previously I lived under the credit card umbrella (now-now, you know that I generally keep to my frugal (as little as possible!) budget), but now I roll with the EU version of play money. Who'd have thought a country like Germany hardly accepts credit cards? Well, ain't no stoppin me. In fact, why not carry real money as opposed to credit cards? Not only is it a great way to reduce unnecessary spending (can't spend what you don't have), but it's safe, too. Think about it. If someone steals your wallet full of play money, they sure as heck aren't going to snake the 85.62 of EU coins in your pocket! :) Oh, the joy of heavy pockets.. and having to re-learn simple math. Thanks to Brain Age for the DS, I'm once again capable of such complexities as 9 * 7. ;)

But what do I spend my money on? So far, food (but i feel a strong pull to the dark-side of boutique-ish clothing..).

Each day I head to the local grocer and pick up new selections of bread (if I'm out), meat, cheese, and sometimes new drink. I cannot ignore the obligatory chocolate item for me and the Missus, either.

Eating fresh bread is just tops (and kinda expensive at 2+ euros a "loaf"). Making sandwiches with this stuff takes my workin' man food to a whole new level. Pick up some good (ie, everyday) German mustard, a few slices of meat (salami, bierschank, bierwurst, fleischkase, turkey, whatever), and slice tomoato and wash the greens. It's so good (and looks so good) I feel like renaming it my uppa' management food. And don't forget the cheese. I see so many people here just eating cheese and bread, I thought "can't be so bad" and jumped on the wagon. Whether I pick up slices of "the daily" cheese or a slice of the wheel, it's in my lunch almost every day. One day I picked up Havarti, which was very different from the havarti I ate in the States (it was much stinkier, but very nice tasting). The next, brie, followed by a hard(er) cheese that that the butcher sliced for me because he liked it, followed by a wedge of Cambozola which rocked! PS: I still keep "normal" bread on hand for PB&J attacks, etc - otherwise I'd be broke.



(b) Consistently visiting the local Farmer's Market. This goes along with spending money, but I'm set on going each week. Luckily for me (cause SAtuday is Lazyday), there's a mid-week / Wednesday (Mittwoch) market. Just this morning I hopped on the bus with my bad German and bought a monster bag of fresh spinach, as well as other things like fresh walnuts, vine tomatoes, herbed olives and some marinated Feta (I think..). The grocers actually don't offer all of this stuff, so off to the Farmer's Market(s) we go (we also went once to the larger Stuttgart market which was also very nice).

(c) More photos! I know, all this talk of food, markets, stinky cheeses and breads without pictures is like Van Halen without David Lee Roth. I'm within reach of a camera much more regularly these days, and I will continue to pop photos for your eyes more than ever! I'll take it to the grocer tomorrow and drop in some savory pics.

(d) My Own Friends ©. I've lived in a world of Material Scientists over the past five years, and it's been fun - but it's hard sharing *everything* with your wife. Friends are no exception. My friends were always a mix of my wife's friends: MatSci's, their wifes, their hubbies, and of course my local tech buddies and friends from around the globe. Ultimately this meant my wife and I hardly had time apart. Shortly after arrival, we clarified that we needed different groups of friends at the lab (which we could combine for bombtastic parties.. muahhahaha). Now we have our own separat-ish social groups, where we chat about all sorts of goodness.. In German. I'm such a dork. Yeah, we don't always understand each other, but I win because I have great bread every day. ;) Then again, she has that infamous coffee club and the peeps that go with it - who are all pretty nice and Euro themselves. Darn you, coffee club with your million dollar cappuchino machine.

(e) A more relaxed attitude. Currently I have no serious deadlines, no true plans, and the work environment around us is: it can wait until tomorrow. I've never felt better. Ultimately I get my work done, albeit I do feel like I'm not focusing on my real job interests, but I think that will change over the next few weeks as people understand what I'm able to do (and interested in doing; there's a significant benefit with actually having interest). Life here is all-around positive. We walk, we eat, we laugh, we watch half-price movies at the Gloria on Tuesdays. I *just* received our first shipment of books, so I now have stuff to read, but I have time to pick up projects and hobbies. Unfortunately with my career choice comes that heavy reading / Golympics requirement, so I still have a slight internal pressure to continue investigating the newest features and products (Windows Vista, Windows PowerShell, the many books and articles regarding those two, the internal workings of those two, blah blah blah). But in the end I just pick up the DS or head to the closest town or Stuttgart for some relaxation.

Can't wait to see the Goritos in December, and looking forward to communicating with some of you over Skype, IM, etc.

Mmm.. Bier: Bier #3

Will owns a bottle opener that features Homer (from the Simpsons) saying "Mmm.. Beer. [pouring beer into a glass] Woohoo!" or something like that. I really like this bottle opener and will purchase it if I can find it - despite my aversion to battery powered items these days.*

And off we go. There are so many more breweries to sample. Be patient, my children. DSL is still on the way.

The Paulaner Hefe-weissen DUNKEL is a *great* beer. It's a Hefe, which I enjoy a lot, and it's a darker beer (but not dark like Guinness). Screaming from the wheaty goodness is a lot of smoothness. Smooth runnings, man. Can you get this in the states? This beer surely won't threaten the likes of Guinness or Delirium Tremens, but I'd pick it as my everyday beer.. if I had a constant selection.. hehe... if..

YMMV (your mileage may vary)

* Old news for some, but I LOVE these toys sans batteries. Check out how cool windup toys can be at Kikkerland.com.

From the "When It Counts" Department

I wrote a friend of mine and said in jest: Living in Germany (as a non-native speaker) is a comedy of errors, and I wish the Germans found it as funny as I do. Now it's your turn!

This isn't mine. In fact, I shouldn't even post this but instead allow my counterpart her moment of fame. But the fact that another American couple we just met also pointed this out and that B's currently not available at the moment persuades me to go ahead and post this.

FUNNY FUNNY

It should yield a video (which you should NOT watch at work.. ahem, you know to whom I'm speaking) with incredible replayability while rarely losing it's humor. Maybe it's funny to me because I live in that sinking world. :)

Enjoy!

Small and Wonderful: The Porsche Museum

Living in Stuttgart had one immediate benefit from my perspective: Porsche. Porsche was started in Stuttgart by Dr. Ferdinand Porsche. While they do have several test facilities througout the world, Stuttgart is still their home (and a proud one, too!). We visited the Porsche Museum yesterday (Sunday - some things *ARE* open on Sundays!!), and I had an absolute blast. I love Porsche because they are beautiful cars that are within the reach of everyone, whether new or used. I'm not saying I can afford to buy another FA Porsche vehicle, but maybe someday.. Actually, I'm lucky enough to own one of FA Porsche's originals. My Father and I (well, mostly Dad) restored it to almost 100% over 10 years ago, and it's still stored and driven regularly. The museum gives a nice shout out to these "everyday" Porsche's:









You can't see the split window in the back very well. It's a 1950's Beetle "Split-Window" that is incredibly preserved (or restored). I'll snag a better picture later when I have my tripod.







Here are a few photos of the various cars (in and out) to whet your appetite.

NB: I will not post all photos. If you want to see more, get your butts over here and I'll take you - it's my treat! :)

959 - pearl white. This was the quintessential Porsche SuperCar until the Carrera GT was released in '04:
















Some lucky Porsche Intern got this crazy fun job. This is the new Porsche Cayman, a model designed to sit between the lower-end Boxter (still a great car) and the essential Porsche 911. I bet Thorr would love this job: Here, take this dremel and run! (I know the cutaway was probably performed with a saw or laser, but Thorr does love his Dremel):
















This is the first thing I saw as I entered the museum: Death on Wheels. Not sure why they don't have an actual Porsche 356 in front of the Der Porsche 356 display....
















SECRET PHOTO OP!!



We think this is a Porsche engineering (test) car. Note the different body panels (front and rear quarter) and masking. There were TONS of these... maybe the panels are about to be removed and replaced to sell the car?







Enjoy these until the time you and I go together! :)