I thought I'd lost you, boy

Before we begin, take a moment to mark "one" for the AWAY Team.

ME: I bet you're glad to finally be in Germany, I said to him. Just hang on a sec.. I'll be right back.

Him: Is everything cool?

ME: Everything's cool. Be right back.

It started out innocently enough - really it did. You see, Germany has this "on your honor" policy with regards to using their public transit which I try to take very seriously. In my pocket were two unstamped "mehrfahrtkartes" err, transit tickets that you can use whenever you want. It's good to keep one or two in your wallet incase you find yourself without money to purchase a fare home. You're supposed to stamp them before you get on the train, bus, whatever, and I realized after Jesse and I sat down in the train that I hadn't validated our tickets yet. Do we ride as misfits who don't pay their own way, or do I get these suckers stamped and be a shining, glimmering, positive reflection of Good Society?

No worries; on the buses the validation boxes are located near the doors. Makes sense: you stamp them when you get on. But for some reason I couldn't find them on the train. I asked a guy next to us: "Verstehen Sie Englisch?" "Yah," he says, "I'm from Indiana." Sweet! Where can I stamp these mehrfahrtkartes? "Uhh, I'm sure the box is on the train somewhere." Well, we weren't going anywhere, so I walked down to the front of the train. No box. I swear I didn't see one. So I walked towards the rear of the train where Jesse awaits my return.

On my way back I see that the boxes are actually fixed to the station where you buy the train ticket. It's just a big rectangle blob, somewhat resembling a big steel door with an LCD touch-screen. Go or stay, go or stay. I'm weighing my options.

The train is still not going anywhere, and besides, I'm always notified by the conductor or pre-recorded voice when the train is about to go, stop, open the doors, which way to exit the open doors, yahdda yahdda yahdda. So off I go, maybe 10 feet away from the train to pop in my ticket. One ticket stamped. On to the next one!

Whew, that was close! I almost tempted fate with the SSB guys in the black coats. IF they stop you and you're without a paid fare, they pop you with a 50 euro fine. (less, I'm told, if you play dead about how the transit system works.. besides, isn't transit free in the States?).

As the second ticket is slid into the machine, I'm gripped with a new kind of fear. It's a fear of silence, because I hear nothing as the train's doors slam shut. I withdraw the ticket, and no matter how fast I ran to the door to open it they weren't coming open. The train starts movin, and hey, there goes Jesse - sitting happily in the back of the train near some random guy from Indiana. I try waiving at him as a signal to exit at the next stop, but somehow my wildly flailing arms go unnoticed.

Lucky me. I just lost my jet-lagged brother-in-law. To my knowledge he's without a local currency, our address, phone number, you name it.

If I continue this story in the same manner, you'll be here all day. Suffice it to say that after four hours, we finally caught up with Jesse at the main train station. After two hours of visiting different train stations, I gave up and returned home empty handed and curious what storms awaited my return. When I saw my wife I simply said, "Hi Honey!" and she said "What the hell happened?!" Great! He made it home before I did and I worried for no reason at all!

Well, not so fast. She received an anonymous phone call on her mobile. Something like "Meet me at the McDonalds at the Hauptbahnhof in one hour." It was very Cloak-and-Dagger. Actually the conversation was more "Hi, this is the Missing American Hotline, and we've found your brother. Please come get him at the Hauptbahnhof McDonalds before he consumes too many burgers and beers."

Our gracious neighbors Katie and Carl brought us into the city where we eventually located Jesse at McDonalds. We grabbed lunch for everyone back at the ranch, and I offered Katie my only 10 Euros as a small sign for a HUGE THANK YOU for her assistance, flexibility, kindness, altruism. We headed back to calm the travellin Parentals' hearts - and ate.

But hey, I learned a ton about the differences between trains and buses that day! For example, the next time I get on a train with someone, I'll be damned if I get off that train to validate my ticket. When the SSB black coat guys come by and demand my ticket, they're going to get a big smile and someone who just can't seem to explain himself very well. :)