I Can Drive (one)Sixty-Five!

Life is full of twists. Long twists, really curvy twists, and the twists that turn you 180 deg. Not the Autobahn; it lacks the latter option (so far as I can tell). I now work roughly 10 miles away from our Wohnung (apartment aus Deutsch) as the crow flies. On Monday I received a temporary vehicle for my job - temporary until I can acquire one for myself. It's a common European brand named Opel, it's diesel, and it's actually peppy. I'm not winning any races of course, but it certainly does the job admirably. Naturally I choose to commute using the Autobahn - who the Hell wouldn't? Besides, when you drive 160 - according to my speedometer - every lane is the Fast Lane.

Back to those twists I was talkin about. I've only experienced two caveats thus far, but they're somewhat important.

(1) If you miss your exit, GOOD LUCK finding a way to turn around.

We don't have "easy exits" where you can just turn around (I think in the US it's roughly 10 miles to the next exit), or those famous "Authorized Vehicles Only" turnaround points. Seriously. If you miss an exit, just give up. Pull over and kick your car tires. It's about as helpful as continuing along the same path, hoping for a turnaround or exit. The solution: You take the next exit and hope you find a gas station that understands English (or you understand Deutsch) - they will explain directions for you to drive through the next twelve towns in order to get to your destination via the backcountry roads... Alas, I'm still learning the details, but that's the skinny. Obviously I try not to miss any more exits. :)

(2) Forget your desire for "buffers" between you and the next car.

Yes, we drive at 160 (or 100+ MPH), but why can't you .. I dunno .. give me a car's length ahead so I don't rub up against ya? Seriously.. I was driving on Thursday and some Benz station wagon clipped right in front of me. He didn't actually touch me, and it's a freaking miracle that he didn't. The action was like a video game. No blinker, no warning, just JOOP! I'm right in front of you. He just kept on happily accelerating, so it wasn't like a Swoop and Squat where he gets in front of me and slams his brakes so that I pay his insurance company a chunk of moolah. All I ask for is a bit of understanding.. Don't pull in front of me without warning; that's all. If I wanted a jerk driver in front of me I'd go back to Chicago.

Das ist alles fur jetzt. Tune in later at the same Bat time, same Bat channel, for more riveting stories about the Autobahn.